By Chris Coplan ![]() Ryan Avery’s something of a local music guru. Whether playing with bands like Fathers Day or Drunk and Horny, or booking shows at Trunk Space, they've been involved with hundreds of shows over the years (Avery uses they/them pronouns). Yet there’s one project that stands out among the slew of indie and punk shows: the Real Coachella festival. "Whenever we'd ask an artist that we want to have perform, we'd say, 'Do you want to perform under the moniker of one of the acts that are playing the other Coachella," they say. "If they said yes, then we'd say, 'Tell us the name and give us some idea of how much time you need or what you want to do. Or don't tell us at all." The event, which ran from roughly 2005 to 2014, became a kind of satire not just of Coachella but other big, bloated festivals that dominate the music scene and draw talent and attention from smaller operations. But as Avery explains, that wasn’t always the intention. "When we started doing the Real Coachella, that sort of shit wasn't as apparent," they say. "It was like, here's a bunch of '80s bands reuniting in the desert and people are going apeshit for it. And then indie bands that just a couple months ago that were playing the smaller stage are now thinking that's going to launch their career into something bigger. But as time progressed, it was actually becoming the worst." They add, "The other thing that was really obnoxious, to me anyway, is it was so frustrating to see a band that we really missed reunite and then only play Coachella. Like, I wanted to see Refused so bad, but I don't want to be surrounded by people who don't care." While the notion of a faux festival seems silly, Avery admits that all the organizers remained deeply committed to the gag at all stages of planning. "We'd meet somewhere ridiculous; we wanted every aspect of it to be ridiculous," they say. "So one year, we met at Mastro's and we wore really nice clothes." Along the way, Avery and company accumulated several memorable performances. There are far too many to encapsulate what made the fest great, but Avery has a couple favorites. "My old band Night Wolf did a tribute in 2009 to Danzig where we pretty much printed out [his] Wikipedia article and rewrote parts of it to make it sound spookier and make it sound more evil, which is, like, definitely the perception that he wants to give people," they say. "So I read that on stage and my partner Andrew played Misfit and Danzig songs between every couple paragraphs. Then we ended it with the Tuba City incident. But instead of saying that he just got punched, we said that he actually died. Then we reenacted it." Not every memorable performance had to do with music, either. "Another performance that I really, really enjoyed, and we did it every year except the last, was JRC, the former co-owner of Trunk Space, performing the opening ceremonies as this performance art project called Pinata Party," they say. "He'd have this spiel about how important the pinata was, and then let people have turns whacking at it. Only it'd be filled with plastic vegetables or rocks or old gumballs." The event didn't just gross folks out; it actually tricked quite a few hapless concertgoers. "The year The Specials were going to reunite [2010], it was just some karaoke thing performed by a local ska group," Avery says. "That's the only time that we got regular hate mail from people. They're just like, 'You don't fuck with The Specials like that. I was about to fly down to Phoenix to see them play for $5 at an art gallery.' The same weekend they were going to be in California." Or, the deeply devoted Scissor Sisters aficionado. "They just did this real spooky thing for a couple minutes, with white face paint and candles," Avery says of the mock performance. "The person stayed for most of the show. But apparently they went up to the counter and demanded their money back. Like, okay, here's your $5." Eventually, though, the joke ran its course. However, Real Coachella didn’t merely fold like any other festival. "The way we decided to send off the Real Coachella, either in 2014 or 2015, was amazing," Avery says. "We'd been getting a lot of heat from this guy on the internet, and he was flagging all of our event pages on Facebook. So we put his name on the event and didn't ask any bands to perform. We told everyone it would be at The Dressing Room, but we didn't ask the people running The Dressing Room. We just set up in the parking lot dressed like ghosts and played Misfits at 16 RPM." Avery is slightly hesitant to recall the "legacy" of Real Coachella, perhaps because that kind of thinking would only ruin the whole joke. Still, when asked if they were trying to be silly and dumb for the fun of it, or if there’s some deeper meaning, they had at least some insight. "I wouldn't say that I want to be weird and wacky, but I would agree with the statement that normal things are boring," they say. "There's a book called Welcome to the Music Business, You're Fucked! If you're doing a local show, you're just a local band playing around your home state. "You shouldn't be upset when people don't go to see you. Because you need to give them a reason to go outside of just seeing live music. That's the way I feel with pretty much any local event. I'm still not going to go unless there's another factor to it." Which is to say, great music isn’t enough, and what makes a scene feel more real is how we grow and expand its larger role within a community. It’s a nice tidbit to muse on as folks sit at home, contemplating the eventual return of live music. Could that also include Real Coachella? "I wouldn't want to do Real Coachella again," Avery says. "I think saying respecting the legacy of what it was is accurate, but it feels like the opposite of what should be." Here are the posters for this years Real Coachella and Real Coachella after party.
This year is going to be the weirdest, realist and most memorable Coachella of all time. MORE INFO CAN BE FOUND HERE The theme for this years Real Coachella is Dinosaurs, Evolution and Weedsmoke. I think David Bessent covered those three things perfectly with these 3 creatures I will be pasting around town in the next couple weeks.
Photos of Hi Our Name Is Ryan (aka D.E.A.R. Hunter) a performance art dedication to Ryans many projects over the years performed by Ashley Naftule and Kevin Flanagan at The Real Coachella 2012 Photos by Sara Avery
JANUARY 30TH
BIKE SAVIOURS CO-OP BENEFIT SHOW!: w/malakai, pools, soft shoulder and djentrification @THE TRIBE 2238 N. 24TH ST. PHOENIX, AZ DONATIONS / 6:00PM AND SKINWALKERS: w/bolt!, sinister optic, the unfiltered sound and the slackers agenda @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $5 / 7:00PM JANUARY 31ST BLACK DEATH MUSIC ALL STARS: w/the music box, ray reeves and porches @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 7:00PM FEBRUARY 1ST LAUNDRYMAT SHOW!: w/little bunny feefee music box along, skinwalkers, josh moke, food by mario, the coitus, the hunger artist, the best friends, wingnut, andrew jemsek, johnathan standiford and a bunch of other artists. @THE WASHHOUSE 7TH ST. AND PORTLAND PHOENIX, AZ FREE! / 8:00PM FEBRUARY 3RD FUCKED UP: w/hour of the wolf, andrew jackson jihad, george moshington, fathers day and pigeon religion @THE PHIX 1113 NW. GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $10 / 8:00PM FEBRUARY 6TH FATHERS DAY: w/ray reeves, jjcnv, skinwalkers, haunted cologne, former friends of young americans and the slackers agenda @RAY'S 7TH AVE. AND MCKINLEY PHOENIX, AZ FREE! / 9:00PM FEBRUARY 9TH THE COITUS: w/au, hello the mind control and more @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 7:00PM FEBRUARY 14TH FRENCH QUARTER: w/porches, kevin greenspon, clark 8 and hell-kite @THE YARDS 402 S. ROOSEVELT TEMPE, AZ FREE / 8:00PM FEBRUARY 18TH JASON ANDERSON: w/special guests @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 7:00PM FEBRUARY 28TH LIAMS BIRTHDAY SHOW: w/jjcnv, the children of hell, fathers day and other bands @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 8:00PM MARCH 5TH GRAND AVE.LIVE: hosted by pete petrisko special guests include... @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $5 / 8:00PM MARCH 13TH JASON WEBLEY: w/vermillion lies, dangerville and more @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 7:00PM MARCH 23RD THE MAE SHI: w/pre, soft shoulder and pigeon religion @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 8:00PM MARCH 25TH AIDS WOLF: w/past lives, white mice and other bands @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $6 / 8:00PM MARCH 28TH ALONE IN JEROME SHOW!: w/quarter inch crown, necronauts, yaya boom, ultramaroon, porches, jjcnv, scorpian vs.tarantula, skinwalkers, fathers day, ray reeves, the hooves, the basement family, riff, barry grahm, shawnte o'rian, aaron johnson and little bunny feefee music box along @CREMA CAFE 917 N. MAIN ST. JEROME, AZ $5 / 5:00PM MARCH 29TH PEELANDER-Z: w/fathers day, jjcnv, ripptyde and skinwalkers @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ $8 / 7:00PM APRIL 25TH THE REAL COACHELLA: w/more info to come @THE TRUNKSPACE 1506 GRAND AVE. PHOENIX, AZ -PINIATA PARTY = awesome, great way to get things going.
-SPACESHIP TO SPACE = pleasent surprise, short set. -THE COITUS = amazing, high quality show. one of the best i have seen -THE BLACK JACKET = new matching outfits, 6 song set. lots of clapping. totally awesome. -CTRL+ALT+AWESOME = awesome. one of the best morgan preformances i have ever seen. definitely in the top 3. -8 BIT PORNO = everyone was holding back until the end. we exploded. broke things. -AIRPORT 81 = really good. didn't get to watch most of them. but sounded tight. -THE RADIOACTIVE CHICKENHEADS = totally awesome. got to be boris the cockroach, liquid fat and chuck e. cheese. tackled el pollo diablo. crazy! -UGGAMUGGA = really nice. new song is good. sang on my evergreen. very rock n roll "hard rock star" -MAX POWER = hilarious. andrew is a genius. -JAIME J. = sexxy, energetic. everyone was into it. -MC MERV = amazing new rhymes about roosevelt turning into mill ave and the usual. -HAUNTED COLOGNE = tight all polka set. everyone was into it. andrew told me to "fuck off" which was funny. -TENT CITY = so GOOD!!!!!!!!!! so much tension so much awesome. definitely in the top 3 best performances i have seen. -FRENCH QUARTER = really good, haven't REALLY watched him in a while. cover of stayin alive made me feel good and bad things in a great way. -NIGHT WOLF = 8 minute bambi jam followed by lecture on the cocaine epidemic in the art scene. went into "the forest" hurt my knees real bad. -LAPTOP REVOLUTION = silly, but good. better than i expected. sick rhymes at the end. -BRODIE HUBBARD = good set. opening on astro zombies is always a good idea. -DEPECHE MODE = we built it up as much as we could so the disappointment would be hilarious. and i think it was. -THE DUST JACKETS = my new favorite band. the type of music that makes you want to hold someone -FATHERS DAY = thrash attack. good vibes all around. sexxy shirt. perfect way to end the show. might be playing a show with osama bin sars and peachcake in may at oneplace? hahahahaha +40 people paid. +touring bands got paid moneys not out of my pocket. +everyone had a good time. +felt packed the whole time. +good energy the whole time. +/-ran an hour and a half over what i wanted. overall one of my favorite shows i have done. and definitely a perfect example of what the good shows is all about. so i am happy with it. RYANS BEST PERFORMANCES OF 2005!
11-28-05 - Catorce @The Trunkspace in Phoenix, AZ it was just me and JRC our whole set was about art theory, performance art, art history and art school. i think it was one of the funniest things i have ever done 12-08-05 - Night Wolf @The Willow House Cafe' in Phoenix, AZ it was a very crowded poetry night and i read the entire bus book introduction to a soft rock sorta beat on the keyboard. i have never been booed so much in my life and this is also a great achievement for me because literally a tomato was thrown at me. 11-25-05 - Fathers Day @The Trunkspace in Phoenix, AZ fathers day played unannounced with some cutesy "indie" bands. the crowd was made up of middle school and high school kids. i threw this little girls cigarettes across the room and said "what would your mother say if she saw you smoking?" she replied "my mom buys me these cigarettes" i said "if your mother really loved you she would not be buying you cigarettes!!!!!!". also this is the first fathers day show with the realistic mustache 11-04-05 - Iggy Pop @The Terrace Gardens in Phoenix, AZ this was the first show where we used the bucket of glass. and it was also such an amazing feeling to play surrounded by plants and flowers. it was really really amazing. 08-06-05 - The Best Friends @Four White Walls in Phoenix, AZ this was a really great best friends performance. we sang a bunch of great songs. [even a rap] and it was also a really great show. HOORAY PINK AND GREEN PARTY! 02-14-05 - Silverchair @The Willow House Cafe' in Phoenix, AZ this performance will be talked about years from now. and i am very proud of that.i dressed in a homemade pink nazi uniform and did an hour long "silverchair" set about love, sex, relationships, stalking....etc RYANS FAVORITE CONCERTS IN 2005! -The Dick Cheney Experience, Fathers Day, Silverchair, Rome is Ours, The Children of Hell, Hey Look...A Shoe! & Black Feet @Four White Walls -The Ampheta Meanies @Bannermans [in scotland] -Organic Junk Fude, Nightmare of the Elf, Silverchair, Ego Plum & The Radioactive Chickenheads @CIA [in california] -Black Feet, The Dietrichs, Andrew Jackson Jihad, The Pharmacy & Kimya Dawson @The Trunkspace -The Real Coachella! w/Iggy Pop, Nascar Dads, Night Wolf, Hi My Name Is Ryan, The Best Friends, Triple Nipple, Brodie Hubbard, The Dick Cheney Experience, A Tower In The Woods, Jaime J., Haunted Cologne & Fathers Day @Four White Walls -The Phenomenauts, The Epoxies & The Aquabats @The Marquee Theater -Mock Death Orange, Morgans Magic Book Bus, The Nascar Dads, Haunted Cologne & Night Wolf @Four White Walls -Coitus, I Want to Know What Drum is, Tigerface, Iji, The Dietrichs & The Dada Swing @The Trunkspace -Pink and Green Party! w/DJ Sense, Night Wolf, Jaime j., The Black Jacket, The Best Friends & Aaron Gerwien @Four White Walls -Fathers Day, Assacre & Treasure Mammal @The Trunkspace -Crooks and Nannies @The Trunkspace -Iggy Pop, Piyush Prakash, Sean, The Coitus, Whitman, Morgans Magic Book Bus, Quem Quaeritis, Fathers Day and The Mysteries Manipulator @The Trunkspace -Veruca Salt @Club Congress -Iggy Pop, Night Wolf, G.A.G., Haunted Cologne, Archbishop Jason Polland, Eccoeing Bleu & The Radioactive Chickenheads @The Trunkspace -The Black Jacket, Collin Spring, At The Spine & Portland Bike Ensemble @The Trunkspace -Tender Forever & Calvin Johnson @Modified Arts THE REAL COACHELLA WAS AMAZING!
and only 20 people payed to get in. IGGY POP - best preformance yet i think.... well..... for the amount of time we allowed ourselves. and it felt like everyone there was into it, even if not everyone "got it" NASCAR DADS - i heard they were hilarious. but i had to miss them because me and emily had to have best friends practice. NIGHT WOLF - was surprisingly amazing. i didnt think we could have a good show unless it was at the willow house for some reason. but having the crowd be triple nipple, emily, sheila and tristan was alright. they all seemed to enjoy themselves and i know me and andrew had a great time making up songs. HI MY NAME IS RYAN - new solo semi seceret solo project. i only did one song in front of andrew and tristan to kill time. emily and sheila were in the room too but i dont think they cared or were listening. THE BEST FRIENDS - amazing! we totally made people feel awekward in the best way possible and we sang our new song about anchorman and some classic love jamz. TRIPLE NIPPLE - didnt have microphones but still rocked the place and made it feel like we were really in california seeing nine inch nails and coldplay. and ended it on the put down that science poles "sci pole summa" BRODIE HUBBARD - was really great as usual. i love his new song "number one" its really good. and people started to come back in for his set. THE DICK CHENEY EXPERIENCE - ummm..... think treasure mammal meets the lycd show at the paperheart but with andrew singing and also add him taking off his pants and scarring people away. A TOWER IN THE WOODS - i was having an important conversation with the tri ni girls during there set. they want to set fathers day up with a show in LA. but yeah a tower in the woods sounded better than the last show and i saw them go on a song trip around the building. that looked like fun. JAIME J. AND TYLER HIS HOMEBOY - were sooooo good!!!!!!! i am so so so excited for flagstaff now. jaime was so passionate about it and totally blew everyone away. HAUNTED COLOGNE - they get better everytime i see them but it still takes forever for them to set up. this is where the crowd started to get really big. man..... THEY WERE SOO GOOD! FATHERS DAY - our hardest, most badass, most thrash show ever! my nuckles are so sore from punching people in the face. now it wasnt our best show ever as a band. but i felt it was my best show ever as the frontman of the band. i was so in character and man! i am so proud of myself cause we were so good! i am so excited for may cause we have so many shows. ------------------------------------------------ so here are some extra highlights *i ripped the biggest hole in the crotch of my pants and spent most of the night with a t-shirt in front of my crotch *the cake from dave's birthday party was delicious *the punks me and the boyss hung out with afterwords were awesome. *having triple nipple tottally relate to me and everyones hate towards me and my awesome bands. thats basically how the night went for me. |
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